


From Homeless to Home

by Lemonykitten



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonykitten/pseuds/Lemonykitten
Summary: Zelo was the younger brother of Yongguk's first girlfriend, before Yongguk knew he was gay. Years later, Yongguk is walking through the city late at night and finds Zelo homeless and sleeping on the streets and takes him home.





	1. Chapter 1

The night winds cut through my heavy jacket, even as I bundled myself tighter in it. Winter in Seoul is bitter and tonight was a shining example of that. My recording session had gone on longer than expected and, now, I was in a hurry to get home. Three alleyways and a park, I thought to myself, that's all that stands between me and my nice warm apartment.

I ducked down the second alley separating me from my bed and huffed, being pulled up short by the sight of a large truck blocking the access-way. Well, shit. There was a smaller alley branching off to the right and I headed that way, certain that I could still be home before midnight. The walls were closer here, the piles of trash higher. My heart beat a little harder in my chest. Not that I was afraid of a fight; I'm a decent sized guy. However, my manager would throw a fit if I went in to work with cuts and bruises... not to mention, I'm not a huge fan of pain.

A low whimper caused me to pause, both in my foot steps and my thoughts. I looked around, wondering if I'd heard a dog or something. Something shuffled slightly up ahead and I moved forward cautiously. It wouldn't be the first time I'd nursed a stray back to health. What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute, adorable creatures in need. A cloud finally moved away from the full moon, letting it's light fill the dank alleyway, and I stopped, looking down at a person instead of a dog. And I was certain I knew this person.

I stood frozen, staring down at the angelic face I remembered so clearly. He was filthy and far too skinny, covered in rags and a bit of an old cardboard box, but there could be no doubt. Choi Junhong lay sleeping on the cold hard ground. The younger brother of my first (and last) girlfriend, Choi Jinae. What the hell was he doing sleeping out here? The Choi family moved to Busan more than 6 years ago. I sighed heavily. One thing was certain, I couldn't just leave him here.

I knelt and gently shook the boy's shoulder, “Junhong?”

The boy's large eyes fluttered open and he jerked away from my touch as though I had burned him.

“I'm not doing anything wrong!” he called out sharply, “I'm not in anyone's way here! I can sleep if I want to!”

It wasn't until after this exclamation that he looked up at me. He sat there, under his rags and card board and just blinked for several moment. I gave him a small smile, still kneeling by his side.

“Long time, no see, huh kid?” I finally said softly, breaking the awkward silence.

“Y-yongguk hyung?” the poor kid stammered.

I nodded and then frowned as another icy wind blew across us, causing Junhong to shiver violently.

“Come on,” I said, standing up and offer him my hand, “Let's go talk back at my place, okay?”

He hesitated, watching me like a mouse might watch a lazy cat. Eventually, he took my hand and I helped him to his feet. The kid was bundled in several ratty layers and a rich stink rolled off of him, making my eyes water a little.

“First thing you're doing when we get there is taking a bath,” I said with a grin, motioning for him to follow me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong brings Yongguk up to speed on his life since moving to Busan. It's not a pretty picture.

Alright, I'll admit it. I was staring. The boy's hair was still damp from his shower, water droplets gliding down the milky white skin of his neck. Without his bundle of ratty, dumpster-salvaged coats, I could really see him. He was even more thin than I'd originally thought, so skinny it was almost frightening. I smiled a little as we sat in my kitchen, watching him wolf down a bowl of ramen. I hadn't pushed for an explanation yet. I wanted to give him time. There had to be a big damn reason for why I had found him sleeping on the streets of Seoul when his family was supposed to be living in Busan now.

I tilted my head a little as I watched him. He was kind of pretty for a skinny stray that I'd just scooped off the pavement. His eyes were dark and sparkly, their shape slanted prettily. And god he was tall. When I'd stood him up outside, I was surprised by how far I had to look up just to meet his eyes. He had to have a good five inches on me. I could tell that he'd bleached his hair himself. The color was starting to fade, his natural black showing through. It actually didn't look half bad that way, though the kid seriously needed a haircut.

“Hyung,” Junhong said, snapping me out of my thoughts, “you're staring.”

I had the grace to blush slightly and I smiled, “Yeah, sorry. I'm just... kind of shocked that your here. That you were there. You know?”

The lanky boy stared down at his mostly eaten ramen and frowned.

“Yeah. I know,” he replied softly.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” I asked him, settling down in a chair beside him.

“Not really,” he answered, toying with the last few noodles in his bowl.

I sighed and reached out for him, but I was surprised when he instinctively jerked away. I blinked at him and he muttered a very soft “Sorry.”

“Jello-ah,” I said, using the nickname I'd made up for him when he was small, “Please talk to me. I'm worried. Why aren't you with your family? Busan, right?”

“Only dad lives in Busan now,” he replied bitterly, pushing the bowl away, “Noona got married. She and her husband live in Mokpo.”

“What about your mom?” I asked puzzledly.

“She's dead.”

My eyes widened at that statement, coming out o his mouth so bluntly and without emotion. I reached out again and, this time, he didn't pull away. I rubbed his back gently, resting my hand on his narrow shoulder. _Shit, I can feel his bones under my hand._

“I'm sorry-” I started to say, but he shrugged off my hand and stood.

“It was five years ago,” he said, taking his bowl to the sink and starting to wash it, “I'm over it. It doesn't matter anymore.”

I stared at his back with wide eyes. _He's over it? What the hell?_

“None of that tells me why I found you sleeping in the street,” I told him, perhaps a little too firmly. I was starting to get a bad feeling about this whole situation.

Junhong sighed, setting his bowl and spoon in the dish rack to dry, “I don't like talking about it.”

“Jello-ah, tell me. Maybe I can help?” I stood and moved towards him, though he shied away as though he were afraid of me.

The boy leaned his back against the fridge and just looked at me.

“Help,” he said with an expressionless face.

“Well, yeah,” I replied, “I mean, I know it's been a long time since we've seen each other, but I was always fond of you. If something's wrong, I want to help. But I can't fix something if I don't know it's broken.”

I smiled at my own words, remembering when I had told him that about a broken toy that he had hidden under his bed. I think he remembered too because his expression softened and he sighed again.

“It's not a pretty story,” he told me finally.

“Okay?” I said with a frown.

“Mom had cancer. But instead of killing her slowly, it sucked everything out of her in less than six months. After she died, dad started drinking. Guilt maybe? I don't know. He and I never got along very well to begin with, so I don't really know much about how he thinks or feels. I just know that things got worse after the funeral.”

Junhong crossed his arms over his thin chest and stared at the floor as he talked, refusing to look at me. I rested against the table and just watched, just listened.

“He would get angry about the smallest things. He would scream and swear if I got a C in school. One day, I came home with an F in history. He took his belt off and beat me with it. It wasn't long after that, noona got married and moved away.”

My eyes widened and I nearly choked on the air in my throat. _He got beaten over a lousy grade?_

“After that, things started getting even worse. If I was late getting home, he would slap me. If I disagreed with him about anything, he would slap me. If he even thought that I was lying to him about something, he would slap me.”

He finally looked up at me with a deadpan stare, “I think you get the pattern.”

All I could do was nod, a sick feeling in my stomach.

“I never... I never really liked girls, you know,” he said randomly (or so it seemed to me).

I blinked at him a couple of times, not sure how to respond.

“I tried talking to noona about it, you know, over the phone. She didn't like it very much, but she tried to help. Told me some things that I could look up online. She gave me the number of this gay guy she knew, said I could talk to him,” he smiled a little, looking at the floor again, “He was nice. He taught me a lot.”

_What exactly did he teach you? And how was it taught?_ I wondered skeptically. This new information made me look at the boy a little differently, but I pushed the small realization away and kept listening.

“Eventually, dad found out. He punched the guy in the face and, literally, dragged me back home. I couldn't go to school for a couple of days because of all the bruises. Dad stopped talking to me. It seemed like a relief, so I just let it go.”

The boy swallowed hard before continuing, “One night, dad went out. I didn't know where. I went to sleep with him still gone. He woke me up at around 4 o'clock in the morning. He stank of alcohol so badly that it made me want to puke. He had a gun in his hand.”

My blood ran cold and I suddenly had trouble breathing.

“He told me that I had ten minutes to pack up and get out. He didn't want a fucking fag living under his roof,” his voice was soft but bitter, “So, I left. Noona and her new husband live in a tiny, one bedroom apartment. They both work at a bakery. I would only have been a burden to them, even if they would have taken me.”

“ **If** they would have taken you?” I repeated, incredulous, “She's your sister, why wouldn't she take you?”

He finally met my eyes, “Dad had been beating me for three years before she finally left. He never touched her. Only me. And she never did anything to stop it.”

I stared at him and then said the only thing in my mind, “That selfish fucking bitch.”

Junhong actually laughed at that, “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why come to Seoul?” I asked him.

He blushed and looked away, “I.... I was going to try an audition for some of the music companies here. To be a rapper or a dancer.”

“You always were good at dancing,” I said with a smile.

“Thanks,” the boy replied with a small smile of his own, “Too bad I can't legally sign a contract without parental consent.”

“Ouch, oh yeah,” I rubbed the back of my head, remembering that small detail.

“I can't go back home,” the boy said mournfully, “Dad will kill me. My noona doesn't want me. No one will hire a kid without parental consent. I didn't really know what else to do...”

His voice trailed off and I could see tears gathering in his eyes. The next thing I knew, I was on my feet and pulling the poor kid into my arms.

“Easy, Jello Baby,” I said softly, rubbing his back as he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face into the crook of my neck.

Junhong didn't make a sound as we held each other, but I could feel drops of something hot and wet sliding across my neck, and his hair had long since dried. His body trembled slightly in my embrace, which made me hold him tighter. My heart ached for him, for what he had had to endure. I remembered the way he had been when I had dated his sister; so full of life and energy. He had always been making up silly raps and rhymes, running around and trying to skateboard. He had always eaten so much, his sister told him he was going to be fat when he got older. _Who is this broken person in my arms? How can I help to fix him?_

“Junhong. Do you want to stay with me?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongguk and Junhong start to bond, growing closer as friends and maybe, just maybe, kindling the flame for something more.

I cursed and jerked my hand back as I burned my fingers on the hot pan. Cooking had never been my strongest suit, but I thought Junhong deserved a real meal; something other than ramen with meat and vegetables mixed it. Mind you, my ramen tastes awesome, but I wanted to make something special. Which explains why I had my nose buried in a cookbook and was suffering a series of first degree burns.

The boy in question was studying in his room, which used to be my office. I had an old futon in there, which the kid seemed to be crazy about. I had offered to get him a real bed, but Junhong had adamantly refused. I smiled warmly, thinking about him. I told him the truth when I said I had always been fond of him. Even as a kid, he was clever and witty. He'll make one hell of a rapper.

Just then a heard a loud snarl from Junhong's room, followed by the distinct sound of a text book hitting the wall. I winced a little and then chuckled softly as I heard him shout, “I hate Math! Hate it!”

I shook my head, a smile still on my face. I quickly finished the meal I had prepared. It was a little singed, but it should still taste pretty good. I felt satisfied as I set it out on the table. As I did so, Junhong wandered out of his room and slumped at the table. I ruffled his hair as I set a plate in front of him. He dug in quickly as I settled on the other side.

“So. Math huh?” I asked quietly as I picked around the burned bits of food.

“Mmrf,” he growled softly, his mouth full of food. He swallowed and said, “I don't know why you're having me study this stuff. Lots of kids don't graduate high school. I'll just... get a job or something.”

“No,” I said firmly, “A proper education is important, no matter what anyone else says. You can't see it right now, but most of those stupid lessons you hate so much are going to carry on with you for the rest of your life.”

The boy rolled his eyes at me and sulked while he ate. I sighed and then got an idea.

“Tell you what, I'll make a deal with you,” I began, watching him as he perked up, “If you can pass the high school equivalency test, one week after you turn 18, I'll talk to my manager and see if we can't get you signed to my label. I'll even make you my personal protege.”

“Really?!” the kid practically bounced in his seat, “Ah, hyung, you're the greatest! Okay, I'll work really hard, I promise!”

I grinned at him and finished my breakfast, motioning for him to do the same. We cleaned up the kitchen together and I ran to take a quick shower. When I got out, Junhong was back in his room with the offending math book. I stopped to give him an encouraging smile.

“Going to work, hyung?” he asked, returning my smile.

“Yeah, you going to be alright?”

“Of course,” he grinned at me, “if there's one thing I know, it's how to take care of myself.”

“Right,” I rolled my eyes at him a little, making him laugh, “but if you do need anything, my cell number is programmed into the house phone, okay?”

“Got it, hyung, now go!” he waved his hand, shooing me away as he turned back to the text book.

I smiled again and headed off to work.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Eleven hours later, I returned home, completely exhausted. My new album started promoting in two weeks, so everything had to be flawless. The apartment was dark and quiet. I breathed a heavy sigh and kicked my shoes off, wandering into the kitchen to find a late night snack before heading to bed. A small sound made me pause. I stood still and listened. There it was again, like a small whimper. Just like the night I found him. I thought with alarm, quickly moving to Junhong's door.

The door was open slightly, so I pushed it in silently. The boy was curled into a tight ball in the center of the small futon, his face scrunched with some mixture of fear and pain. He whimpered again, twitching harshly. Nightmare, I decided striding into the room and kneeling by the bed. I shook his shoulder gently and called his name.

“Junhong, Junhong wake up! Come on Jello baby, it's a dream, wake up.”

With a loud gasp, the boy's eyes snapped open and he jerked away from my touch. He sat up slowly as tears started running down his face. He buried his face in his hands and slowly rocked himself.

“I'm okay,” he said, slightly muffled by his hands, though I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself, “I'm okay. It was only a nightmare. I'm okay. It's okay.”

I stood and lowered myself onto the bed, scooting beside him, but not touching him yet.

“Junhong,” I said softly, trying to get his attention.

He sniffled and then peeked at me from between his fingers. Damn this kid can be so freaking cute sometimes. I smiled at him and opened my arms for him. He hesitated and then leaned in to wrap his arms around my waist and pressing his face against my chest. I held him tightly, gently rocking him.

“I've got you, Jello baby,” I said soothingly, “Hyung's got you. Everything's alright. I'm here.”

“It was him,” Junhong sobbed against me, “It was him. He had his gun and he was chasing me...”

“It was just a dream, Junhong. You're safe. He can't hurt you here, I won't let him. I swear,” I assured him, rubbing his back gently, understanding that the boy was talking about his father.

“He was saying such... horrible things. He told me I should just die. That fags don't deserve to live,” he whimpered.

“Listen to me,” I said, pulling him away from my chest so that I could look him in the eyes, “There is nothing wrong with the way you are. Nothing. You understand? It doesn't matter if you like men, or women. I wouldn't care if you were in love with a dragonfly. You are perfect just the way you are. You deserve to live a whole hell of a lot more than that son of a bitch. I don't care what he said to you, in your dreams or in real life. He's wrong. He's selfish, arrogant, cruel and **wrong**.”

Junhong looked at me, trying to hold back his sobs and I sighed, pulling him back into my embrace, trying to give him some of my strength. I kissed his hair and rocked him gently, waiting for the fear and remembered pain to pass. He slowly calmed in my arms. I ran my fingers through his hair, murmuring comfort as best I could. Finally, the boy pulled away, wiping at his face.

I stayed still and watched him collect himself, reaching over only to brush some of his hair away from his face. Kid still needs a haircut, I thought to myself with a small smile. He glanced at me and returned my smile a little.

“Any better?” I asked quietly.

“A little,” was his only reply.

We were quiet for a few minutes, the only sound being his slightly labored breathing. I was surprised when he eventually spoke again.

“Does it really not bother you? You hold me and touch me, even though you know I'm gay... Don't I disgust you?” he looked at me earnestly; his face looked so young, but there was the weight of age and hardship in his dark eyes.

“It doesn't bother me at all,” I told him, slinging an arm around his shoulder, “We're two of a kind, you and I.”

“W-what do you mean?” he asked with a sniffle.

“Well, I'm gay too.”

He stared at me, his mouth gaping a little, and I chuckled.

“B-but N-noona,” he said, confused.

“My first girlfriend and also my last,” I confessed, “Dating her is how I figured it all out.”

“Really?” he said, looking at me in wonder.

“Yup. It just... never felt right, you know? I did everything a boyfriend's supposed to do. Held her hand, kissed her, bought her gifts, but my heart was never really in it. When we were together, my heart never raced, my skin didn't heat up. She was nice and I liked her. But I don't think we ever should been anything more than friends,” I told him, rubbing his back absently.

“So that's why you're not freaked out by me,” he murmured, mostly to himself.

I reached out to gently turn his face towards me, “I wouldn't be freaked out by you even if I wasn't gay. I told you. There is nothing wrong with you, with us or with the way we are. You have nothing to be ashamed of, I promise.”

He smiled, reaching up to squeeze the hand I had left on his face. We both let them drop away from each other and heaved a little sigh. The simultaneous sigh made us both laugh. I patted him on the thigh.

“What do you say I make us some hot cocoa and then we both try to get some sleep, huh?” I asked standing up.

He grinned and stood as well, “Sounds good, hyung. And... thanks.”

“Anytime, Jello baby,” I replied, leading the way to the kitchen, “It's you and me now, got it?”

“Got it.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhong decides to prove to his hyung that he's anything but a child.

It had been two months since I'd asked Junhong to live with me, and, for a while, we settled into a comfortable routine between my work and his studying. He had offered a couple of times to pick up a part time job, but I quickly squashed that idea. I really wanted him to focus on his education and I made more than enough money to support us both. He had eventually consented, but insisted that, once he signed with my label, we would split the rent. I let him have that small victory, simply because his earnest look had been just too cute to handle.

However, the past few weeks had been anything but routine. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this kid was trying to kill me. He'd put on a good amount of healthy weight and even started working out. Often, he would step out of the bathroom after a shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist; water gliding across his ivory skin and hard, lightly showing muscles often captured my attention at these times and I had to yank myself away and distract myself with something else. He was a kid and I was helping him. No way was I taking advantage of his innocence. I sensed that had been done to him enough.

That didn't stop him from draping his lanky frame over my shoulders while I sat composing, or cuddling up to me on the couch, or laying his head in my lap while we watched a movie. Now that he was healthy again, he'd gotten back into dancing, although I'm fairly certain his moves didn't used to be that... provocative. They way he would roll his hips, or glide his hands across his torso as he moved to the beat somehow always found a way to make me swallow hard. I started thinking I might need to go on a date to shake off these tantalizing yet very, very wrong thoughts. And then Junhong made dinner.

I had finished my work early and, when I strolled into the house to surprise him, caught him in the middle of his preparations. He swiveled around and stared at me in shock, a wooden spoon in one hand and wearing the most adorable apron I'd ever seen. It had flowers on it and everything. _Seriously, where the hell did he get that thing?_ The smell of fresh spaghetti and garlic bread filled the whole house, quickly making my mouth water. Well, at least one of us is a good cook.

“Uh, hi,” I said, giving him a wry smile.

“Y-you're home early,” he replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice, “I was... going to surprise you...”

“I'm surprised,” I told him, “Do you want help?”

“No, no, I've got this. Um, set the table?” he offered, not wanting to give me orders in my own house.

I smiled at him and complied, pulling out a set of bowls and some silverware. I even fished out some napkins that I had stashed in a drawer. I'm usually more of a 'lick your fingers clean and wash your hands later' kind of guy, honestly. But this seemed like a special occasion. Junhong smiled brightly at me as he set the food in the center of the table and then I watched him fetch a pair of wine glasses from the cupboard. I gave him a puzzled look as he motioned for me to sit. He poured my favorite white wine for me and Sprite for himself. I chuckled softly and he just grinned, settling himself gracefully in the chair across from me.

The meal was delicious. We fell in quietly, devouring every scrap until our stomachs hurt and we laughed at each other about it. Before I could volunteer for dish-duty, the excitable kid dragged me into the living room saying that it was time for the movie. Apparently, he had spent an hour and a half at the video store picking out exactly the right one. That's what he said anyway. Personally, I had never heard of it. Junhong swore up and down that it was his all time favorite movie.

Half an hour in and I was already uncomfortable. Not to say that it was a bad movie, it was really good. The problem was how incredibly sexual it was, and the tension between the two male leads was almost enough to kill me. I cleared my throat quietly and squirmed slightly in my seat every time the two found themselves a breath away from each other. I couldn't react much more than that, considering Junhong's head was resting on my stomach. If I wasn't wearing jeans, I could've felt his breath... _No no no no, NOT going there. Bad, Yongguk, BAD._

Things only got worse when the lanky brat began running his hand across my thigh like he was petting a cat. What can I say? My legs are sensitive. I didn't realize what was really going on until the not-quite-unexpected sex scene turned up in the movie and Junhong slid that hand of his down to my inner thigh. I gasped and jumped, dislodging him slightly.

“Woah, hey, stop!” I cried, scooting further into the corner of the sofa.

“Why?” he asked softly, moving his hand higher up my inner thigh. I nearly choked on the air in my lungs.

“B-because,” I started to sputter.

My protests and explanations were cut off when Junhong sat up and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm and I almost lost all sense when his hand cupped my clothed semi-erection. I was shocked back to reality when I heard our soft moans mingling. I pushed him away and scrambled off the couch.

“What the hell are you doing?” I shouted at him.

He looked up at me like a dog that's just been kicked for the first time.

“I... I was just,” his lower lip trembled slightly, “I like you, hyung.”

I stared at him as I processed this sudden confession. I'm pretty sure I blinked at him stupidly.

“Junhong. You're seventeen. I'm twenty four,” I told him firmly.

“I'll be eighteen in October, it's not that far away,” He replied.

I shook my head and turned away from him, fiercely reprimanding my body for still being far too excited by his advances. Junhong stood to follow me as I tried to escape.

“You're too young,” I tried again.

“Too young for what, hyung?” he asked me, his voice bitter enough to turn me around, “Too young to understand what I'm asking for? I understand perfectly. Too young to know anything about sex? Been there, done that. When you live on the street, you do what you have to for money, food, safety. So what exactly is it that I'm too young for?”

I stared at him and he shook his head before continuing, “My body may be young, but my heart has aged. It's old and tired. I'm almost afraid to take it out of the box I hid it in. It would be so easy for someone to break it. But you'd be gentle with it, wouldn't you? You would take care of my heart. Right?”

He had advanced on me again and slipped his arms around me. I looked up into his eyes as I thought about what he was saying.

“No one, in my life, has ever been as good to me as you are,” he almost whispered, his arms resting across the back of my shoulders. My own arms came up around him almost automatically as he continued to speak, “You've given me a home, a future; something to hope for, something to live for. Why can't I give you this? Yongguk-hyung. I want you. Do you... really not want me?”

I swear I heard something snap inside of me. The next thing I knew, our mouths were tangled in a passionate kiss. He tasted sweet, decadent, and I held him tighter, pressing our bodies together. He moaned into me and I could feel him trembling in my embrace. He rolled his hips, grinding against me and I growled at the sensation as he threaded his fingers into my hair.

We had begun in the middle of the living room, but, somehow, I now had him pressed against the wall, whimpering into my mouth as my hands ranged across his body. He pulled at the hem of my shirt and I lifted off of him enough to remove it and toss it away before lunging back in. His fingernails raked across my bare back, making me let out a low, muted moan. I could feel him grin into our kiss before he did it again. I let out another growl and pushed away from him to wrestle my new lover out of his own shirt before snatching his wrists and pinning his hands to the wall.

“Hyung,” he whimpered, trying to pull against my strength.

I ignored him, keeping him pinned, and crouched slightly, dragging my lips and teeth across that exposed torso I had been thinking about for over a month. His skin was salty and sweet. I licked, kissed and bit my way down his abdomen and then back up, before capturing a taut nipple with my lips. Junhong's back arched and he let out another moan. He tugged weakly at my grip on him, but I doubted he really wanted to escape.

 

“Hyung, please,” he whined with an erotic shudder, “stop teasing...”

“Easy baby,” I told him, standing to press our bare chests together, making him whimper once more, “We're just getting started.”

After one more deep kiss, I pulled him quickly down the hall, shutting the door to my bedroom behind us, and then flung him on to my bed. He gasped softly when he hit the bouncy surface and I hesitated. I knew that I was strong, that I could be a little rough. He must have sensed my doubts because he held out his arms to me, his eyes full of passion and desire. I pulled off my belt and let it drop to the floor before crawling onto the bed and settling between his knees.

He pulled me down into another searing kiss, fire filling my veins. He shifted his hips slightly, rubbing our clothed erections together, causing us both to moan and then rubbed one leg up my thigh and over my hip before wrapping them both around my waist. I shivered, feeling his muscles move around me, imagining what kind of flexibility the wicked little angel must have.

“Junhong, let go,” I growled against his lips.

He blinked up at me puzzledly, disappointment in his lust-filled eyes. I kissed him gently.

“If you don't let go, I can't get our pants off.”

His breath caught in his throat and he immediately released his hold. I gently ran my hands down his abdomen, making him shiver erotically again, before popping the button on his jeans and pulling down the zipper. Anticipation made the boy whimper beneath me and I had to take a deep breath and remind myself to go slow. He may not be a virgin, but I still didn't want to hurt him.

Within a moment, I had us both stripped bare, my hands and my mouth exploring every contour of his delicious body. His skin was salty and sweet and he writhed beneath my touch, whimpering, moaning and crying out in ecstasy.

“H-hyung,” he gasped breathily, “I can't take much more...”

I placed a final kiss on the inside of his thigh and then moved to rummage through my bedside table drawer. I let out a small crow of victory as I found a bottle of lotion. Not quite up to par with real lube, but it would do in a pinch. I made my way back over to him and we locked eyes as I dipped a finger into the lotion and gently spread it across his entrance. His entire body quivered and a sound somewhere between a moan and a high-pitched gasp escaped his mouth.

I leaned down and gently suckled on the underside of his manhood, slowly sliding a lotion-slick finger inside him. My young lover let out a long, low groan, his back arching off the bed. It wasn't long before I was able to slide in a second, stretching him gently.

“Hyung,” I heard Junhong call me again, bringing our eyes into contact once more, “I'm not made of glass. You aren't going to break me.”

I stared at him for a moment, not quite comprehending, until he finally said bluntly, “Fuck me, Yongguk. Now.”

I snapped for a second time that night. The next thing I knew, I was buried inside of him, his voice loudly calling my name. I gripped his hips tightly, shivering slightly. _God, it's been so fucking long since the last time I did this..._ I thought, my breath catching in my throat. I waited for a moment, letting the lanky teen get used to my size, until I felt him moving against me.

I gasped and let out a small growl at the sensation of his hips rolling against me. Small pleasured sounds were working their way out of Junhong's mouth and I watched him for a second before pulling out a little and snapping back in sharply. He let out a yelp, grasping at the sheets, eyes tightly closed. I paused, worried.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked softly.

“No, gods no, do that again,” he panted.

So I did, setting up a quick rhythm. The sound of his voice filled the room, probably the whole apartment. I didn't give a damn about the neighbors. I wanted this gorgeous person beneath me to scream my name. I lifted his legs by the backs of his knees and adjusted my position, slowing my pace slightly but thrusting in harder. Obscenities and affirmations poured out of my new lover's mouth, egging me on. I shifted my angle again and was halted once more by a loud, shattering cry.

“Fuck, please don't stop,” he practically sobbed, “It was right there, you were right on it, please, please!”

_Oh. Prostate. Right. Got it._ I returned to the task with renewed vigor, finding that bundle of nerves on every third or fourth thrust. I gulped as I began losing my rhythm. It wouldn't be long now.

Luckily, Junhong whimpered out, “Hyung, I'm so close...”

I just nodded, panting heavily, as I continued thrusting into his tight heat.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Jello baby,” I said softly, letting go of his legs and leaning forward, resting my arms on either side of his face.

I kissed him softly as our hips moved together, our labored breaths mingling. His hands grasped my back, fingernails softly scraping across my skin. I shuddered and dragged my lips down his jawline, attaching them to his neck. As I bit down and sucked on his tender skin, his voice nearly shrieked out in ecstasy and I felt his muscles tighten around me, something wet and sticky hitting out stomachs. I groaned, the flesh of his neck still in my mouth as I finally reached my own climax, releasing inside of him.

I pulled away from his neck and sat up, still inside of him. I looked down at Junhong, at the sweaty, panting mess I'd made out of him. I looked at the dark, purple mark I'd put on his neck and felt a flash of almost over-powering possessiveness. I pulled out gently and leaned over him, kissing his lips hard enough to bruise. He responded weakly, his entire body still trembling.

When we parted, I stroked his cheek tenderly with my thumb.

“Mine,” I whispered softly, making him blink at me, “You're mine now. Okay?”

“As long as you're mine too,” he replied quietly, his eyes lidded and his expression satisfied.

“Of course,” I said, collapsing beside him on the bed.

He curled around me, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. I pulled the blankets over us, knowing eventually our bodies would cool. I starting drifting towards sleep with my arms around his shoulders, his breath ghosting across my chest. My conscience flared up again for a moment. _He's still so fucking young._ I mentally batted the thought away. It was done. He was right. His physical age might be young, but Choi Junhong had been through more than enough for me to call him a man. I kissed his forehead and settled into his embrace.

Before I drifted completely off to sleep, I heard him call my name. I pried my eyes open and looked down at him. His gaze was filled with vulnerability. He shifted nervously against me, chewing on his lip. I caressed his face and frowned a little.

“What is it?”

“Can I...” he started, then shook his head and tried again, “Is it... is it alright if I love you?”

I blinked at him for several moments, long enough for a frightened, regretful look to cross his face. I kissed him and smiled reassuringly.

“Yes.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We switch for a little while over to Junhong's POV to observe a little trouble in paradise.

I woke up slowly, blinking my eyes open to see Yongguk-hyung's room. This was becoming an all-too familiar experience, one that I greatly appreciated. I stretched my still slightly aching muscles and sighed happily. Sure, I still had doubts now and again, but Yongguk-hyung was always good to me. Being in love felt better than anything I could have imagined.

I glanced at the other side of the bed and pouted when I found it empty. Yongguk-hyung's album was going to be released soon, so they had him working more and more hours every day. I still wasn't sure what would happen if the asked him to go on tour. Would I go with him? Would he leave me behind? If I stayed here, would he meet someone else on the road?

I sat up and shook my head to clear away those thoughts. I needed to stop dwelling on all these negative what-ifs. Yongguk-hyung loved me. He may not have said it yet, but I knew it was true. Yongguk-hyung was warm and kind, gentle and loving. Nothing was going to change that. I could trust him. Period.

A couple of hours later, I was set up on the sofa studying for my high school equivalency test. My 18th birthday was only three weeks away; the test was a week after that. I wanted to be ready. And I wasn't letting my boyfriend (hee hee, boyfriend, squeeeeee) out of his promise to take me under his wing. There is no better beginning to a rapper's career than becoming the personal protege of the great Jepp Blackman. Just thinking about it made me grin.

It was still fairly early in the afternoon, so when I heard a key rattling in the door I looked up and frowned. I stood, wondering if they let Yongguk-hyung come home for lunch. When the door opened, however, it was definitely not Yongguk-hyung. The strange man staggered in through the door, his long hair pulled back in a lopsided bun, reeking of alcohol. His face was so pretty and his frame so slender, the only reason I knew it was a man was because his shirt hung half open.

“Hyung!” the man called out belligerently before adding in a sultry whine, “Oppa~”

My mouth dropped open in shock. I couldn't even bring myself to move as the intruder stumbled over to the couch and collapsed there in a heap. He let out a sound somewhere between a pained groan and a petulant whine, then stopped moving. I peered at him cautiously, hoping he hadn't just died, when he gave a long snore. Great. A drunken pretty boy was passed out on our couch. _Guess I'm calling Yongguk-hyung._

It felt like the phone rang forever until it was picked up with a “Hey babe.”

I smiled reflexively at Yongguk-hyung's greeting when he answered my called. My frown quickly returned as I glanced over at our very unwelcome guest.

“Hyung, we have a problem,” I said seriously.

“What's wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked me worriedly.

“I'm fine, it's not like that,” I reassured him, “but... some guy let himself into the apartment and passed out on the couch.”

“Some guy?” at that question, Yongguk-hyung's voice started to sound a little odd.

“Yeah, some tiny little pretty boy. It's crazy, but he must have a key. I keep the door locked when you're not home. Still, he just barged right in, shouting 'hyung' and even 'oppa' which was really weird,” I rambled a little bit, trying to both explain it to him and wrap my own head around the situation.

Strangely enough, I thought I heard Yongguk-hyung curse on the other end of the line, then he was very quiet.

“Hyung?” I asked tentatively.

“I'll be right there,” he said almost too firmly before hanging up.

“Um, okay?” I said to myself, blinking at the phone in my hand, “Well, that was weird.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It wasn't even half an hour later when Yongguk-hyung walked through the door. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to smile, but something was wrong. I could tell by the look on his face. It was a harsh look; I'd almost call it unfeeling, if there wasn't something akin to rage flickering in his eyes.

“Hyung?” I questioned softly, but he just waved me off and strode over to our uninvited guest.

“Ren,” he said loudly, his voice oddly without inflection, “Get up. Get on your feet now or I swear I'll drag your ass out.”

The person on the couch groaned and whined before slowly sitting up and rubbing his face. I noticed then that our guest had been wearing makeup, and it was now smeared on his face. I grimaced slightly as this 'Ren' person pouted up at Yongguk-hyung.

“How can you be so mean to me, baby? Huh?” he asked, putting way too much aegyo into his voice.

Yongguk-hyung didn't answer. He grabbed the smaller man's arm and roughly jerked him onto his feet, then he began digging in Ren's pockets. The feminine man tried to fight him off, but hyung was too strong. When Yongguk-hyung finally pulled away, he was holding the apartment key in his hand. He growled and, with a flick of his wrist, tossed it across the room.

“There. Now I can finally say this is the last time this will happen,” he growled. I had never heard him sound so menacing.

“Come on, Gukkie-cookie,” Ren said in a sultry tone, sliding his hands up Yongguk-hyung's torso, “Don't be like that. Aren't you happy to see me? Your sweet Renren?”

Yongguk-hyung snatched the man's wrists and stepped away from the other man, his eyes cold and piercing.

“That's enough Ren. Don't you have a fiancee to get back to? Do I have to call Baekho and get him to drag you home again?” hyung let go of Ren quickly and stepped away again.

I could only look between the two of them, my head spinning and my stomach churning. _What is happening? Why is Yongguk-hyung being so cold?_

“You're drunk,” my hyung continued, “Leave. It's what you're good at.”

I saw Ren flinch at the dig. Even to my ears, it sounded harsh. I got it then. Ren was Yongguk-hyung's ex. That explained why he had a key and called hyung 'oppa.' _Is this the kind of guy hyung likes? Why is he with me?_

“Gukkie,” Ren whined, reaching out for the bigger man.

Yongguk-hyung swatted the feminine man's hands away and it sounded like it hurt.

“How can you be so cruel?” our intruder whimpered.

Yongguk-hyung heaved a heavy sigh, “I'm not doing this. I'm done with this. With you. I'm tired of you showing up whenever you want, thinking that it's okay. I've moved on, Ren. You need to do the same. Get out of my house. Don't come back.”

Tears welled up in Ren's eyes and I could feel them in my own, too. Yongguk-hyung was being so cold. He wasn't angry, or shouting. It's like he had no emotions at all for the man standing in front of him. It was... a little frightening. And that's when Ren finally noticed me. He looked between me and Yongguk-hyung a couple of times and then gave a watery, disbelieving laugh.

“You replaced me with **this?** ” he sneered, “He's not even close to your type, hyung.”

“That's the idea,” Yongguk-hyung replied, surprising us both.

_What the hell is that supposed to mean?_ I wondered, frowning and crossing my arms over my chest. Before I could even think of something to say, Yongguk-hyung grabbed Ren's arm and was almost dragging the boy towards the door.

“Ow, hyung, you're hurting me!” Ren wailed, stumbling into the entryway as Yongguk-hyung released his arm and gave him a little push.

“You'll live,” hyung said simply.

“Fine. I'm leaving,” Ren sniffled, settling the clothing that had been ruffled in the minor altercation, “Have fun with your new chewtoy.”

Yongguk-hyung just sighed at that comment, staring at Ren. The feminine man wiped roughly at his eyes before finally heading out the door, slamming it behind him. I stared at my boyfriend, waiting for an explanation. He just sighed again, turning around without looking at me.

“I know that you have questions,” he said quietly, earning a scoff from me, “but I just really can't talk about this right now, okay? I have to get back to work. They're already pissed that I left.”

My jaw dropped. No explanations, no promises or comfort? _What the hell is going on?_ Yongguk-hyung slipped his shoes back on and gripped the doorknob.

“Don't wait up for me,” he told me, back still facing me.

Once he was gone, I curled up on the couch and let myself cry a little. I didn't understand what was happening, why Yongguk-hyung was so cold both to Ren and then to me. It was the first time, since we had become a thing, that hyung had left the house without kissing me. My head was spinning and my heart ached.

_I think I'm going to go sleep in my old room tonight...._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongguk has some explaining to do.

I sighed, slumping against the wall and staring at the closed door to Junhong's room. Things between us haven't been right since Ren's little 'visit' last week. I admit, I probably could have handled it better. As it was, Junhong had barely spoken to me; I'd barely even seen him. I was still working all hours of the day, but, when I came home, his door was always shut firmly and he wouldn't answer to my knock. I needed to fix this. I just wasn't sure where to start.

Finally, I huffed, deciding that sitting here staring at my lover's door wasn't going to help anything. I dragged myself up off the floor and put my hand on the doorknob. I hesitated. This would be the first time I invaded his space when he didn't want me there. I was intruding and I didn't know how to feel about that. A deep breath in and I opened the door, strengthening my resolve. _If I want to keep him, then I have to talk to him._

Junhong lay curled up in a little ball in the center of his futon. His face looked swollen and red. _Damn, he's been crying._ Guilt cut through me like a knife and I sighed, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. For a moment, I just looked at him, listening to him breathe. His very presence was so comforting to me. Just knowing that he still existed, that he was still there, took a bit of the tension out of my shoulders and the set of my jaw. I reached out and ran my fingers through his now dark hair, the blond having long since grown out and been trimmed away.

He shifted at my touch, his eyes fluttering open. Recognition bloomed in his eyes as he blinked up at me and, at first, it was soft and warm. Then his look quickly turned cold. He scowled slightly and rolled over, showing me his back. I sighed softly.

“Sorry for waking you,” I told him quietly and, though I received only a small grunt in reply, I continued, “I suppose I have a lot of things to apologize for... A lot of things that I need to explain to you...”

The boy sat up with a huff. He looked at me for a moment and then stood up. I grabbed his hand, not letting him go.

“Junhong, I know you're mad, but, please, we need to talk about this-” He cut me off by putting a hand over my mouth.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he said, pulling his wrist from my grip, “Stay right here. I'll be back.”

He padded out of the room, leaving me stunned, staring at the open door. I chuckled softly, thoroughly surprised by him.

“That kid is going to be the death of me...” I murmured, settling in to wait for him.

A few moments later, Junhong returned as promised. He stood in the doorway, looking at me as though he were trying to put together a frustrating puzzle. With him looking at me like that, I found it hard to meet his eyes because I knew what it meant. I had made him doubt me. That much was clear. He doubted my intentions with him; he doubted my love for him. I had to fix this.

“So,” the boy in question finally said, breaking the silence with his gentle voice, “Who was he?”

I took a deep breath for starting, “His name is Ren. Well, that's what he goes by anyway. His real name is MinKi, not that it... really matters... His older brother was my roommate in college. Ren and I dated for... just over two years.”

I sighed and stood, scratching the back of my head. Still not looking at him, I paced the room slowly as I spoke, “In those two years, Ren cheated on me eleven times. Twice with women. And I forgave him. Every time. Because I was in love. Because he said that he loved me. I planned on marrying him.”

I heard a sharp intake of breath from the doorway, but still I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze.

“The day before I had planned to propose, Ren said he was leaving me. That he was getting married to someone else.” Even now, talking about it hurt. I rubbed at my chest, though I knew my body wasn't the cause of the pain.

“Baekho,” Junhong guessed, his voice soft and without inflection.

“Yeah,” was the only reply I could manage.

It was quiet for a few moments before I began to speak again, “Even after he left me, Ren would just.. randomly show up on my doorstep, usually drunk. It happened almost every time he and Baekho had a fight. I just didn't have it in me to turn him away. My heart still craved his company. For a little while, I thought that, maybe, if I was good to him, better than Baekho... then Ren would come back to me...”

I growled softly and rubbed my face with both hands before sighing and saying to the ceiling, “It was a fool's dream.”

“How long...” Junhong started to ask, though his sentence trailed off.

“Technically, we've been broken up for a year...” I hesitated, not sure if I wanted to tell him the next part, “That night he showed up... that would have been our anniversary. I should have expected him... I'm sorry. I should have protected you from that.”

“What did it mean?” the question threw me off, so I blinked and looked over at him quizzically.

“That... Ren person.... he said that I wasn't your type. Not even close. And you said... 'That's the idea.' What did you mean by that?” Junhong had taken a few steps into the room, his hands down at his sides and a pained expression on his face.

I cursed softly and slumped into his desk chair. I thought for a moment, trying to pick my words carefully. _Out of everything he could have asked, he would ask about that..._ Junhong settled onto the futon, folding his legs underneath him, and just watched me, waiting for my answer.

“Usually, I date men who are... dainty. Feminine. You're the first guy I've ever dated who was taller than me,” I heard him fidget in his seat, but I kept my eyes on the desktop, tracing the whorls in the wood with my fingers, “My type... is usually pretty girly. They like to shop and spend hours on the phone where I only need to say three words at a time. My type is usually much more... high maintenance.”

I glanced over at him and attempted a smile at my last statement, but Junhong was scowling at the bedspread so I turned back to my fidgeting.

“If... if that's your type,” he said very quietly, “then why the hell are you with me?”

There was a bitterness in his voice that I hadn't heard in months; a bitterness that I had never wanted to hear again.

“Because you're not them. Because you're **better** than them. Because, to you, my life is just as important as yours. Because you're thoughtful, smart and caring. You're not my type, it's true. The type of guy I usually go for takes over my entire world and then breaks my heart, leaving me alone with nothing. I don't think you would do that. You're gentle and sweet. I've never dated someone gentle and sweet before. I've never dated someone... that I could bring home to meet my family,” I licked my dry lips and took a few deep breaths. _I'm not used to talking this much_ , “I'm with you... because I think you might actually love me. They never did.”

Against my will, and to my shame, a tear ran its short course down my cheek. I fisted my hands, grappling with my emotions. I barely heard the mattress shift as Junhong rose and padded over to me. Then his hands were on my face, turning me to look at him and he pressed his soft lips against mine. I shut my eyes and drank him in. Suddenly, two weeks of not seeing him, touching him, holding him, felt like an eternity. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

“I do love you,” he almost whispered, “I really do. I'm not... I'm not very good at it; I know next to nothing about love. But what I do know... I learned it from you. And you're the only person I ever want to give that love back to.”

I finally opened my eyes and met his, seeing that they were equally misted with unshed tears. My arms slid around his waist and I stood, pressing back into a kiss. I groaned softly as he melted against me, our bodies fitting together seamlessly. I walked him backwards until we toppled onto the futon. A soft chuckle escaped my lover's throat and it made me smile.

“I've missed you Jello Baby,” I murmured against his neck, caressing the skin there with my lips and tongue as I slid a hand up his shirt, “The sound of your voice, the softness of your skin.”

“I missed you too, hyung,” Junhong replied quietly, arching into my touch.

I moved slowly, deliberately drawing it out as our bodies writhed against each other. He whimpered beneath me and it sent fire through my veins. His hands pulled on my shirt, so I sat up to pull it off and toss it aside. Junhong's eyes devoured the sight, the hungry look on his face causing my breath to hitch. I quickly relieved my lover of his shirt as well, pressing our bodies back together. We both groaned at the contact of bare skin on bare skin. My lips trailed down his neck again and then across his chest; licking, kissing, and biting along his sensitive, milky white skin. He gasped loudly as I locked my mouth around a taut nipple, his hand clutching the back of my head as I teased the bud with my tongue.

“Yongguk,” he moaned, his body shivering beneath me.

I growled softly. The only time I ever heard him call me by name was when we were in bed together and it always left me burning with desire. I released his nipple and continued traveling down his body, pausing to pay particular attention to the edge of his ribs, where I knew he was extra sensitive. His groans of ecstasy and his grasping hands egged me on as I reached the top of his pajama pants, swiping my tongue just beneath the waistband and eliciting yet another pleasured gasp.

Junhong panted beneath as I slid the irritating bit of clothing over his hips, nipping at the tender flesh there. I hooked my fingers over his boxers as I went, pulling those away as well, tossing the whole pile into a corner to be forgotten. I looked down at me lover, my gut tightening with arousal. I leaned forward and gently touched his face.

“God, you're beautiful,” I murmured softly, sliding my hand back down his body and making him shiver.

I made quick work of teasing his entrance open, pausing just for a moment to watch him ride my fingers, his pale skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat. I crawled up his body and buried myself inside of him, his sharp cry of ecstasy music to my ears. His legs wrapped around my hips as I pressed us together and kissed him passionately. I broke the kiss as I began to thrust, tearing high pitched moans out of my lover's throat.

“Yongguk,” he groaned softly, his fingers grasping at my sides, “M-more.”

I gave him a little grin and sat up to get a better angle. I gripped his narrow hips and slammed into him, fast and hard, and watching Junhong quickly fall apart. His hands clutched at my forearms, his back bowed and his eyes rolled back. He moaned and whimpered and called my name. My gut tightened as I rode him mercilessly. Then, the poor boy practically screamed when I finally hit his prostate. I leaned forward just a little, to keep that angle, continuing to thrust against his most sensitive spot.

“C'mon Jello Baby,” I coaxed, holding tight to his shoulders instead of his hips, “Come for me baby.”

Hearing my words, Junhong quickly unraveled, shouting out loud and releasing across his stomach. His muscles tightened around me and I picked up my pace just long enough to send me over the edge as well. My lover groaned as I released inside of him, both of us panting from exertion. I shakily pulled out of him and dropped next to him on the bed.

“Wow,” Junhong said quietly after a minute or two, making us both chuckle.

Our hands slid together, fingers linking, and when he looked at me, the warmth and love was back in his eyes. We smiled at each other and he snuggled closer, the weight and heat of him feeling perfect in my arms.

“No more fighting, okay?” he murmured sweetly, pressing his lips to my collarbone.

“I dunno,” I drawled teasingly, “I kind of liked making up.”

That comment earned me a slap on the side and I laughed, looking down at his smiling face.

“You're such a brat, hyung,” he said, pouting at me.

I laughed again, darting in to steal a kiss from his pouty lips, “Yeah, but you love me.”

“I really do,” he replied, his voice softening.

I closed my eyes and hummed contentedly. Before I could fall asleep though, Junhong's voice roused me once more.

“Hyung?”

“Hm?” I responded sleepily.

“Can we go sleep in your bed? I kind of hate this futon.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongguk has an unexpected encounter with a woman from his past.

I smiled to myself as I wandered around the large market, picking out groceries for the next month, as well as something special for a celebration. Junhong had passed his High School Equivalency Test with flying colors. I had had to work late on his birthday, so I planned to make up for that tonight as well. Even with my hectic schedule following my newest album, things with Junhong had never been better. I couldn't remember a time when I had been happier.

I drifted through the aisles, sorting foods and spices into my cart and enjoying my good mood. It wasn't until I reached the snack aisle that my mood deflated. My heart thumped painfully in my chest as I recognized a face that I never expected to see. It only got worse when that person turned, looked at me and recognized me as well.

“Yongguk-oppa?”

“Jinae,” I responded, shocked and a little nauseous.

She smiled brightly and hurried over to wrap her arms around my waist, hugging me as though she were as pleased as she could be to see me again. Ice settled into my veins, even while I felt heat boiling in my stomach. Is she really smiling like that? Is she really laughing and trying to catch up with me like an old friend? Is she really the same person who abandoned her brother, my lover, to abuse? I resisted the urge to sneer and shove her away from me.

“So how have you been? Still rapping? Of course you are,” she enthused, hardly pausing for me to answer, “You were always so talented. I have a couple of your albums, you know. My husband is a big fan. I didn't tell him you were my ex, of course. That wouldn't go over well.”

She laughed and then finally looked me in the eyes, “So, are you seeing anyone?”

The heat in my stomach became an inferno, melting the icy feeling that had settled on my. My fury raged into my gaze, forcing her back a step.

“Yes. I am,” I told her, my voice low and menacing, “Your brother. Choi Junhong. We've been together for about half a year now.”

“M-my.... What?” she blinked rapidly, retreating another step from me.

“Your brother. He just passed his high school equivalency test and my company is going to sign him as an artist next month,” I informed her, standing very still, “I'm going to train him myself.”

“Are... are you serious right now?” She asked incredulously, her face pale.

“About as serious as a child being abused,” I seethed, “As serious as a father threatening his son with a loaded gun.”

“Now, wait just a second...” she tried to interrupt, but I pushed on.

“As serious as a teenager who doesn't have a single family member who honestly loves him. As serious as a boy forced to sell his innocence for food, shelter and safety. As serious as a boy sleeping in the streets during winter,” I stepped closer to her and hissed into her face, “As serious as a sister abandoning her only brother to save her own selfish skin.”

“You don't understand. You don't know what it was like!” she cried, trying to defend herself.

I sneered with disgust, “I know what it was like for Junhong. I know because I've had to hold him while he wept, after waking up from another of his nightmares. I know because I've spent months soothing the bitterness from his tone and the pain from his eyes. I know because I've seen him flinch from me when I'm angry or frustrated, even when it has nothing to do with him. I know because Junhong is damn lucky that he isn't permanently broken.”

“And what about me? I'm lucky not to be broken too, you know,” she told me indignantly.

“Oh bullshit,” I spat back, “Daddy dearest never laid a hand on you. You just watched him come down on Junhong until you were old enough to get married and run away. Funny, when we were dating, I never would have figured you for a coward.”

“I'm not a big strong man, like you, Yongguk,” she retorted, “What was I supposed to do?”

“There were a dozen things you could have done. All of them easy. Like a phone call. A single phone call could have fixed everything,” I growled, the volume of my voice slowly raising as I became increasingly angrier, “but you couldn't even do that. Face it, Jinae. You abandoned him. I asked him why he didn't go to you when your father threw him out, and he told me he honestly believed you wouldn't take him. Your own freedom and safety were more important than his, when it should have been the opposite! You can justify it all you like, Jinae, but, deep down, you're nothing but a selfish little bitch!”

A solid slap to my right cheek rocked my head to the side. I tasted a small amount of blood in my mouth as I turned back to look at her. My anger cooled, the ice returning, and I smiled mirthlessly.

“Like father like daughter, Jinae,” I said very quietly.

Tears filled her eyes as she looked between me and her own hand; and like the coward I had accused her of being she turned and fled from me, covering her face as she fought not to weep. I sighed, suddenly feeling emotionally drained. I gathered up the last of my groceries and paid, avoiding the glares and curious glances from those who had witnessed the argument.

My heart heavy, I headed home, resolved to tell Junhong nothing of the altercation. Telling him wouldn't help anything. It would only hurt, and I would give up my soul, along with everything I own to keep him from ever being hurt again. He was mine now. I was going to protect him, however I could.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys celebrate their 300th day anniversary, and each receives some much needed comfort.

The sun was warm on my face, even though the wind was cold. I rubbed my hands together to warm them as I neared the house. Should've taken the car today. I thought absently, digging the front door key out of my coat pocket. _Glad I got off work early. It'd be even colder after dark._ My heart soared as I thought about the event that prompted my early day. Junhong was going to be so surprised. I stepped through the doorway and breathed in the warm scents of home and... fried chicken?

I grinned, shutting the door and shucking my shoes. I walked into the living room and then stopped in my tracks. Thin gray strings draped across the room from each wall. Pinned to the strings were pictures of myself and Junhong together; smiling, laughing, holding each other. The strings bowed down low towards their middles, there were so many pictures, so many memories. In the middle of it all stood Junhong, a bashful smile on his face. On the coffee table, an assortment of take-out food was spread with a single red candle in the middle, its small flame flickering.

“What's all this?” I asked, moving carefully among the photographs.

He blushed and his gaze darted away before he answered, “Today is our 300th day anniversary.”

“Really?” I replied with a serious face, even though I knew exactly what day it was. Teasing him was just too much fun to pass up, “Are you sure that's today?”

Junhong gaped at me for a moment, then, before he could explode or murder me in my sleep, I pulled the small present from my inside coat pocket with a grin. My young lover scowled at me and then put out his hand.

“It better be a really good present, to make up for that really bad joke,” he pouted as I handed the small, wrapped box over.

I watched him anxiously as he unwrapped and opened it. He stared, speechless, for several long moments and I panicked.

“Do you... not like it?” I asked, my heart clenching painfully in my chest.

He pulled the delicate silver ring from the box, discarding the container without a second thought. The dark sapphire set on the band glittered in the candlelight. He looked up at me, his eyes misted with tears and I gulped. He held the ring back out to me and I felt my world crashing down around my ears.

“It's too soon. Right, I... I should have known I'm sorry-” I stammered taking the ring gingerly from his grasp.

“You have to put it on me, stupid,” he said with a watery laugh.

I felt my cheeks flush and I cleared my throat, suddenly very embarrassed. I moved around the coffee table so that I could stand directly in front of him, my heart thudding heavily in my chest.

“It's not really a-” I started to say.

Junhong cut me off, “I don't care what it is. You have to put it on.”

I sighed and smiled, relenting. I took the ring and his right hand, letting his fingers rest on my palm. I slid the slender silver band over the knuckles of his ring finger, placing a kiss on each side of it. I looked up at him and he was beaming at me, his eyes still shiny with tears of joy.

“Happy anniversary, Jello Baby,” I said with a smile.

He slid into my arms and pressed a kiss to my lips. I reveled in his warmth, his scent, the taste of his lips; I was almost disappointed when he pulled away. I must have made a face because he laughed and kissed the tip of my nose.

“I'm hungry, and I've been smelling that delicious food for half an hour. Food, hyung,” the little imp laughed again, stepping out of the circle of my arms and settling on the couch.

“Fine, you win,” I replied, my heart swelling at how comfortable he's become around me, no longer aiming to please me with every word and action. I loved that he was content to be himself.

“Of course I win,” he chirped, sticking his tongue out at me before opening the lid for the fried chicken.

An hour later, the food containers lay demolished on the coffee table and we sat, knee to knee, on the couch and my sides and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. Junhong's face was flushed with color, his eyes sparkling brightly. I lifted a hand and stroked his cheek gently.

“You are so beautiful, you know that?”

His cheeks reddened and he ducked his head bashfully, “Shut up.”

“I mean it,” I replied with a laugh, gently taking hold of his chin and making him look at me, “You are the most beautiful person in the world.”

He smiled at me and leaned forward, meeting my lips for a brief kiss. I whined at him for pulling away too soon and he laughed at me, beginning to stand.

“We need to clean up,” he chided me with a smile, but I wasn't having it.

I snared his wrist and pulled him back down onto the sofa beside me, slipping my arms around him. He blushed and pouted, but didn't fight me.

“We can clean up later,” I murmured, placing soft kisses along his jawline.

He let out a heavy breath, arching against my touch. I slid my hand down his inner thigh as his hand rose to caress my chest. I pulled him closer, his free arm looping around the back of my neck as our lips met again. He moaned against me as I dipped my tongue into his mouth, reveling in the taste of him. I let myself drown in the sound of his labored breathing, the smell of his favorite cologne and the heat of his skin. I trailed my fingertips back up the inside of his thigh and felt him shiver. My breath hitched when he dropped his hand down to press against my quickly hardening length, making me groan into his mouth.

He pulled away again and, once more, I protested. He shushed me as he stood and quickly stripped off his shirt. I took a moment to admire his magnificence, to feel a sense of possessive pride at seeing the ghosts of my marks still on his ivory skin. His dark eyes sparkled and he smiled wickedly at me before shucking both pants and boxers in one easy movement and then settling himself on my lap, straddling my hips. I slid my hands up his thighs, over his hips and across his back, making him shudder. He kissed me again, hungrily, and I let him take control, surprised and intrigued by his sudden aggressive, almost dominant, behavior.

He ground himself down on the obvious tent in my pants and I groaned into his mouth, gripping his hips tightly. He practically undulated in my lap, making me shiver. Pleasure lanced through me so intensely, I found it difficult to breathe. He pressed soft kisses to the corners of my mouth, slowly unbuttoning and then opening my shirt. Then he bit my lower lip, hard. Tiny slivers of pain mingled with the pleasure and I thought I might die right then and there. I bucked up against him and he made a sound so delectable, I could almost taste it.

That was when he took my hand and slipped the first three fingers into his mouth. I felt his tongue caress them and could only stare as he pulled them out, almost dripping wet. He then guided my hand around his back, down past his hips and between his legs. I gently probed his entrance with my saliva-slicked fingertips and he moaned, rocking against me. He almost frantically unbuttoned my pants and pulled out my manhood, wrapping his hand around both of us at the same time.

I stretched him perhaps a little too quickly, but I was already damn near to bursting. I wasn't going to last very long. The sounds spilling out of his plump, kiss-swollen lips alone were almost enough to make me burst. To my surprise, it was Junhong who took my hand away first, sitting up on his knees and adjusting so that he could impale himself on me. As always, he was hot and tight and we moaned out together. He rolled his hips, riding me, meeting each of my thrusts. It was only moments later that he threw his head back, practically screaming my name. Thick, white ropes covered my abdomen. I shuddered, his muscles squeezing almost painfully tight, and then I released inside of him.

He nearly collapsed on top of me, gasping for breath. We trembled against each other, trying to remember how to make our lungs work and to slow the frantic beating of our hearts. We looked at each other for a long moment and then Junhong laughed. I grinned at him.

“Well,” I said, slurring slightly, “That was nice.”

He laughed again and nodded, “Uh huh.”

I helped him off my lap and layed him on the sofa. I fetched a warm washcloth from the bathroom and cleaned us both up before settling beside him again. He draped his long, muscular legs over my lap and sighed contentedly.

“Happy anniversary,” I said softly, watching him smile in response.

We sat quietly for a little while, simply enjoying each other's company. I gently massaged his thighs, which I knew tended to get sore during his dance practices. Training to join a music company was no easy thing. It was Junhong who finally broke the silence, with a question that seemed to come flying out of left field.

“Hyung, what did your family say when you told them you were gay?”

I pondered the question for a moment. I could feel his eyes on me as I thought about it.

“My mom cried,” I replied finally, “I think... my father was disappointed. He didn't say very much. My brother and sister swear up and down that they always knew.”

I smiled a little, thinking about my family, “They've never been cruel or overly judgmental about it, even though they don't really understand. I was lucky; they were willing to stand beside me no matter what.”

He was quiet again, processing the information I had just given him. I felt a guilty pang in my heart, thinking about how lucky I was to have a supportive family and how much it must hurt for him to have been abused and abandoned by his own. _It's not fair. Not fair at all._

Junhong pulled me out of my thoughts again, “I didn't even know that you had siblings.”

“Yup, a twin brother and an older sister,” I told him with a chuckle.

“Twin? Gods, there's two of you?” he laughed.

“Don't worry,” I said, grinning, “He's straight.”

“If-” Junhong started to ask something else, but then stopped himself.

I looked at him curiously, a frown on my face, “What?”

He shook his head and sat up, taking his legs from my lap and running a hand through his thoroughly mussed hair. I reached up and brushed my fingertips across his cheek, making him look at me. The love I'd grown accustomed to seeing in his warm brown eyes was still there, but I could also see a sliver of doubt.

“Jello baby, talk to me,” I pressed gently.

“It's... none of my business,” he said softly.

“Say it anyway.”

“If... your family is so accepting...” he shuffled his feet, fidgeting as he forced himself to speak his mind, “Then why have you never brought a boyfriend home to them before?”

I sat there, looking at him for a moment, putting all of the pieces together and then gave him a bittersweet smile, reaching out to run my fingers through his hair (more to comfort myself than anything else.) I sighed a little, searching for the right words. He gave me time to think through the question. He knew that snappy answers were not one of my strong points. I took his hand and started playing with his long, almost delicate fingers before I finally answered.

“You saw Ren. You saw the kind of guy I usually date. How can I bring someone like that home? How can I introduce someone like that to my mother?” I shook my head, “No. I've already dashed their hopes and dreams of having a daughter-in-law. I won't shame them with someone like that.”

“Do you think...” he asked, slowly and carefully putting the words together, “That you could... introduce them to... someone like me?”

I looked up at him, meeting his imploring eyes and gave him a warm, loving smile.

“Jello baby, I think my family would love you. Almost as much as I do.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys receive another surprise guest, this time from Junhong's dark past.

Junhong's laughter rang through the house as I chased him around the island in the kitchen, trying not to slip across the tiles in my socks. My barefooted minx danced just beyond my reach, continuing to make faces at me. I laughed and raced after him as he bolted for the living room.

“Ya! You little brat!” I shouted playfully, “I'll teach you who's an old man!”

Junhong's laughter lilted out again, then he squealed brightly as I finally grabbed hold of him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, lifted him up and spun him around, holding his back against my chest. I gave a triumphant roar. I almost never won this game. Junhong was a quick little thing. I finally put him down and we both collapsed onto the couch, gasping for breath and giggling at each other. He cuddled up against my side, laying his head on my still heaving shoulder and I nuzzled into his hair, sliding an arm around him. Then I gave him a great pinch on the thigh, making him yelp.

“I'm not old,” I told him again firmly, though I was still gasping for breath.

Junhong merely laughed, sitting up and stretching his graceful form. I watched him, smiling, knowing that he always prolonged the stretching process for my benefit. My young lover had come a long way from the lanky stray I had taken into my home a year and a half ago. He had filled out and grown even taller. His muscles were firm and carefully molded by exercise. His eyes were bright and full of life. The hollow bitterness they had once held was gone, much to my immense relief.

At that moment, the doorbell rang, shattering my burgeoning plans to drag the young man back to our bedroom to explore those thoughts a little more completely. I groaned, sinking lower onto the couch. I did not want to deal with people right now. Junhong grinned and laughed at me. He stood, shaking his head, and waved at me to stay seated.

“I'll get it.”

I returned his grin and relaxed on the couch, scratching at the scruffy growth on my chin. I'll need to shave soon. I thought with amusement. Junhong doesn't like it when my face is all prickly. I heard the sound of the door open and I waited to hear the young man's bright greeting. The silence stretched on for a long awkward moment and I sat up, turning to look puzzledly towards the doorway. Junhong's face had gone deathly pale and his hands were shaking. I stood and as I moved swiftly toward him, I heard the boy whisper hoarsely.

“Appa?”

I stopped just slightly behind Junhong and surveyed the man in the doorway. Choi Jowon and I had known each other well when I dated his daughter all those years ago. We'd even been close, the man often referring to me as his second son. I barely even recognized this shaggy beast standing in front of us. His hair was lank and greasy, his clothes dirty and disheveled. There was a wild look in his blood shot eyes and I could smell the reek of soju and whiskey from here. His eyes widened when he saw me. Then, roaring like an angry boar, he shoved Junhong aside, spilling the shocked boy to the floor, and charged at me.

I wasn't expecting such a sudden and violent attack, so he caught me by surprise and we tumbled over backwards, Jowon bearing down on top of me. My head hit the floor, scattering stars across my vision, and I threw my arms up over my face as the older man's fists starting flying, battering at me while he screamed in rage. If there were words in all of his bellowing, I couldn't have said what they were.

I heard Junhong scramble up off the floor, screaming at his father to stop hurting me. I could see through our tangle of limbs that he was desperately trying to haul the older man off of me. Jowon elbow snapped back, hard, and caught the boy square in the face. Junhong stumbled back, blood trailing down from both nostrils. Rage boiled up, thick and hot, through my shock and disbelief. I met Jowon's roar with a bellow of my own, throwing him off of me and against the wall.

I climbed to my feet just as the heavyset man staggered to his. Junhong stood back, clutching his bleeding face and staring at us in abject horror. Tears stained his ivory cheeks. A red film descended over my eyes and, before Jowon could secure his footing, I swung my fist as hard as I could. The punch connected solidly with the man's jaw, forcing him to stumble backwards. I followed him with quick, short steps, hitting him again with my left hand. His head snapped that direction and he floundered, arms windmilling through the air, before falling with a shuddering thump.

I dropped my knees onto his abdomen and his strangled grunt of pain was lost on me. I grabbed hold of his shirt collar and starting slamming my fist against his face, his blood splattering on the both of us. A thick knot of disgust and hatred coiled tightly in my stomach, making me feel sick.

“He's – your – son – you – sick – fucking – bastard!” I screamed, punctuating each word with a solid blow to the side of Jowon's face.

I could almost hear the bones in his cheek and jaw fracturing under my onslaught. Then Junhong grabbed my wrist and pulled, bringing my attention back to him. The young man had abandoned his bleeding nose and was sobbing openly, gripping my arm tightly.

“Please, hyung,” he wailed, his face a wet mess, “Please stop! You have to stop! You're going to kill him!”

I knelt there, frozen for a moment. I realized that I was gasping for breath and the muscles in my arm and shoulders were screaming with pain. Junhong's father stirred weakly beneath me. I slowly stood, still shaking with the effort to contain the rage that had built up in me towards this man since I first spotted my tousle-haired imp sleeping under a pile of garbage on the street. I stepped away from the monster at my feet and pulled Junhong into my arms, comforting him and kissing his hair. I murmured soft words until the boy's shuddering sobs subsided.

On the floor, Jowon and rolled himself over and was crawling across the room. I gave Junhong a reassuring squeeze before I walked back over to the bloodied man. I hauled him to his feet and roughly escorted him to the still open door. I practically threw him down the three small concrete steps leading up to our house. Junhong's father ended up sprawled in the front yard. I stood there, Junhong at my back, and watched the bastard struggle to his feet. He swung around to glare at me and I lifted my chin proudly.

“Let's get something straight. Junhong is mine. You got that? I love him more than anything else in this world and I'm more than willing to fight for him,” my voice was severe, carrying on the night air, “You don't get to scare him anymore. You don't get to hurt him anymore. If you ever come back here and try to take him from me again, I will kill you.”

I could see lights coming on in the other houses on the street, curious neighbors peeking out of their windows and doors to find out what was happening. I took a long, slow breath.

“You are not welcome here Choi Jowon. You're more animal than man and you don't deserve to have this wonderful young man as your son. Go to rehab. Clean yourself up and maybe, just maybe, someday you might be worth a fraction of what your son is,” I pointed to the southwest, “If you go two blocks that way, you'll be able to find a cab that can take you to the hospital. Get the fuck off my lawn.”

Then, I slammed the door shut on them all. I turned around and, this time, Junhong pulled me into his arms, gently kissing my bruised and bleeding face. He whispered how much he loved me into my ear and I hugged him fiercely.

“I meant what I said,” I choked out, my voice suddenly hoarse and weak, “I love you more than all the world, Choi Junhong. You're mine and I'm never letting you go.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yongguk and Junhong get the happily every after they deserve. (Zelo's POV)

6 Months Later

 

  
A volatile mix of nervousness and excitement swirled in my stomach. My hand shook as I put my signature on the very last page of the extensive contract. _This is it,_ my brain kept exulting, _I'm really doing this. It's really happening!_ I laid the pen down, looked up at my new boss, sitting beside me, and grinned sheepishly. The heavyset man laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

“Welcome aboard, kiddo!” He congratulated me, “Enjoy this weekend. The work starts first thing Monday morning!”

I stood and bowed to him, briefly shaking his hand and then exited the slightly-too-warm office. Yongguk sat in the waiting room just outside with headphones over his ears and a pad of paper and a pen in his hands. He looked up as I approached, and a broad smile broke out across his face. His smile was infectious and I returned it as he stood.

“Well?” he asked quietly, his deep voice immediately comforting.

“All done,” I replied, giddy butterflies still fluttering about in my stomach.

“We're expecting big things from your boy here,” our CEO told him, reaching out to shake Yongguk's hand, “From both of you.”

Yongguk nodded, shaking the rotund man's hand firmly, “You won't be disappointed.”

I smiled again at his warm assurance, a smile that widened when he took my hand and laced his fingers in between mine. We bowed and politely said our goodbye before escaping from the too-well-heated company building into the cool, late autumn air. We laughed and talked softly on the way to Yongguk's car, his hand never leaving mine. All the world felt right.

I moved towards the passenger side, but Yongguk's grip pulled me up short. Puzzled, I turned and looked at him. He was frowning a little and there were worry lines creasing his forehead. I moved back closer to him, still holding his hand tightly.

“Hyung, what's wrong?” I asked gently.

“I...” He started and then stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again, “I want to give you something.”

“Okay?”

“But first, you have to give something back,” he said, pulling his hand from mine. As he did so, he also slipped the anniversary ring he had given me off my finger.

A subtle terror gripped as he took it way and, panicking slightly, I reached for it, shaking my head. He shushed me gently, stepping forward to place soft kisses on the side of my face.

“Trust me,” he murmured into my ear before stepping back again.

The parking lot was hushed and empty as I watched him tuck the delicate silver and sapphire ring into his pants pocket. He made a small sound and I looked up a little to meet his eyes. He smiled warmly and slowly dropped down to a single knee.

“I've got a better one for you,” he said, pulling a red velvet box from his inside jacket pocket.

He held the box up and opened it. I gasped and my hand flew to cover my open mouth, tears instantly gathering in my eyes. The ring in the box was similar to the one he had taken from my finger. It was silver and studded with sapphires, but in the center was a small, square cut diamond. It caught the fading light from the setting sun, making rainbows dance in its depths.

“Junhong... You know that I'm... not very good with words,” he said hesitantly, still kneeling and holding out the glittering engagement ring, “I'm a simple man, and communicating my emotions is... something that I struggle with. But one thing I always want to be clear on is that I love you. Being with you, having you here with me, it gives my life meaning. It turns my house into a home.”

I could feel hot tears fleeing down my cheeks as I stared at him, my hand still covering my mouth. A riot of emotions cascaded through me as I listened to his words, thinking about all we had been through together in only two short, wonderful years.

“Without you,” Yongguk continued, “my home, my heart and my life would be empty and meaningless. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. Just the fact that you are mine fills me with such pride and joy that I can hardly stand it.”

I could see tears in his eyes now, too, as he pushed on to the end of the longest speech I'd ever heard him make, “And so, Choi Junhong, I ask you to be mine forever. Will you marry me?”

My heart swelled and, for a moment, I couldn't breathe. He wants to get married? To me? I stood there, frozen, like an idiot statue until Yongguk's brow started to furrow with worry. I could see panic starting to rise in his dark eyes, so I shook off my stupor and threw my arms around his neck.

“Yes!” I sobbed, clutching him tightly, “Yes! A hundred, no, a thousand times yes!”

Yongguk gave a large sigh of relief, wrapping his strong arms around me and standing slowly. He pulled back a little, raining kisses on my damp face. His cheeks were almost as wet as mine and he was smiling broadly. I smiled back at him and then stepped away, holding my left hand out.

“Give,” I demanded.

He laughed and pulled the ring from its box. I barely even breathed as he slid it onto my finger and kissed my hand. A fierce joy overtook me and I slid into his arms again.

“I love you,” I whispered into his ear, holding him tightly, “I love you so much.”

I received a tight squeeze, his deep gravely voice in my ear, “Love you too, Jello-Baby.”

We stood there for a moment, just holding each other. Yongguk was the first to pull away, checking the time on his cell phone.

“Oh shit, we better get moving. We're going to be late for dinner.”

“Dinner?” I repeated, blinking dumbly, “Late?”

Yongguk, my fiancee, just grinned at me, “The ring was only my first surprise. Come on, get in the car. We'd better hurry, or I'll never hear the end of it.”

Puzzled, I hurried to get in the car. I had barely buckled my seat belt when he peeled out of the parking lot and headed towards the highway. My mind was still reeling as I stared at the beautiful engagement ring on my finger, but I managed to pull myself together long enough to form a coherent sentence.

“Where are we going?”

He glanced at me and grinned slyly, “Somewhere special. You'll see.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It took us almost an hour and a half to reach our destination, and I became more and more confused with every mile. We turned into a simple residential district and I frowned. What the heck are we doing here? Yongguk pulled over to the side of the road in front of a large blue house.

“Damn, we're the last ones here,” Yongguk grumbled, turning the car off and glaring at the other vehicles in the driveway.

“Hyung,” I finally asked, puzzled, “Where are we? I thought we were going out to dinner.”

He took a deep breath and then turned to face me, “This is where we're having dinner. This.... This is where my parents live, where I grew up.”

I felt my face go pale and I turned back to look at the house again. The yard was large, enclosed by a waist-height, chain link fence; a medium sized dog house sat in one corner. There was a tire swing hanging off one of the trees, and toys were scattered about the lawn. A warm light emanated from the curtain draped windows and I could hear music and laughter.

“That... that's your family,” I said, my voice soft and hoarse.

I felt his hand close around mine and I turned back to him, my heart hammering in my chest. I could feel an icy panic swirl around in my stomach as I struggled to keep calm. Yongguk rubbed his thumb across my knuckles, pausing to tenderly touch the ring encircling my finger, claiming me as his own.

“That's our family in there,” he said gently, “And they're really excited to meet you. That's what this whole party is for: to welcome you into the family, to celebrate everything you are and will be.”

I chewed on my lower lip, looking back and forth between him and the house. Yongguk gave a soft chuckle and leaned over to kiss my cheek before releasing my hand.

“Will it make you feel better if I promise you that I'm the only one who bites?” He quipped, getting out of the car.

That startled a laugh out of me and I awkwardly followed him, shutting the car door a little hard behind me. He smiled and held out his hand for me. I went to him, swallowing hard and gripping his fingers tightly. He patted my arm reassuringly and led me through the gate and up the walkway. I battled with my lungs, commanding them to breathe, as Yongguk knocked on the door.

The door opened revealing a short, stocky man with graying hair, and, when he smiled, it was Yongguk's smile. The bottom dropped out of my stomach. _This is his father. This is Yongguk's father._ My lover's reaction only confirmed my assumption. He let go of my hand and opened his arms wide.

“Aboeji!” he crowed as they embraced.

“My son,” the older man replied, his voice low and rough like his son's, “It's been too long since you've visited us.”

Yongguk looked abashed at that, “I know. I'm sorry.”

I stood awkwardly behind my new fiancee, desperately trying to think of something to say or do. Part of me really wanted this man to like me, even love me. Another part, the part that screamed the loudest, wanted to run away and hide. That option was stripped away from me though when the both of them turned to look at me, the same smile on both their faces.

“Aboeji, this is Junhong,” Yongguk said, his tone warm and gentle.

“Welcome! Welcome!” the man said brightly, ushering us both into the house, “You know, I was starting to think you were hiding him from us!”

They both laughed as I trailed along behind them. The inside of the house was warm, not just in temperature, but in the colors used to decorate. I suppose it's called 'homey'. Pictures of family members lined the walls and it was clear someone in the house collected ceramic pigs, as they littered nearly every flat surface. Jubilant voices echoed down the short hall as we passed through, shucked our shoes and headed into the spacious living room.

Low comfortable furniture was placed about the room in groupings that encouraged conversation, all of which was filled with smiling, happy people sharing vague facial similarities with Yongguk. The far end of the room had only a half wall dividing it from the brightly colored kitchen. Small children ran, laughing, through both rooms, a small dog barking at their heels.

“Eomma!” Yongguk shouted above the din.

A tiny woman with iron gray hair and bright eyes, wearing a pastel apron, turned away from the stove, a wooden spoon in hand.

“There's my boys!” she crowed, “It's about time the guests of honor showed up; we were about to start without you!”

I looked around the room, so filled with people, with family and, for a moment, I couldn't breathe. The world seemed to tilt under me as my mind filled with bitter, gnawing doubt. _This isn't mine. This couldn't be mine. This family, this warm, loving, supportive group of people that made up a real home. How could it ever be mine?_ I could feel hot tears on my face and heard Yongguk calling my name. I shook my head and took a step back, but then his mother was there.

She was small, but her grip was strong as she pulled me into her arms. I collapsed around her, choking on my sobs. She shushed me softly, rubbing a hand in circles on my back. She smelled of good food and sandalwood lotion.

“It's okay, son. Everything's okay,” she said, her voice soothing my fears, “You're home now. You're home.”

 

 

THE END


End file.
